1. Only in America......can
a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are
there handicap parking places in front of
a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do
drugstores make the sick walk all the way
to the back of the store to get their prescriptions
while healthy people can buy cigarettes at
the front.
4. Only in America......do
people order double cheese burgers, large
fries, and a diet Coke.
5. Only in America......do
banks leave both doors to the vault open and
then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do
we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in
the driveway and put our useless junk in the
garage.
7. Only in America......do
we use answering machines to screen calls
and then have call waiting so we won't miss
a call from someone we didn't want to talk
to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do
we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns
in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do
we use the word "politics" to describe
the process so well: "poli" in Latin
meaning "many" and "tics"
meaning "bloodsucking creatures."
10. Only in America......do
they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.
