A
Schoolmaster from a remote rural area was transferred
to a school in Bombay. He reported for duty
two days before August 15 and, as was the practice
in the school, was asked to address the assembly
on Independence Day.
Here's his dynamite speech:
Leddies and Gentulmens,
Contemporaries, Children, "This is my first
maiden speech. If small small mistakes get inside
my speech, I ask pardon. Stickly speaking, I
wanted to joint your school more fastly, but
for the following reason. Too much time lost
in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre
compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket.
I put complaint on station master. He said me
to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected.
I then pressed her for long time and at last
with great difficulty she gave a birth only
to my son. Anyway I thanked the station master
because he was responsible for getting birth
of my son.
We got independent because of great leaders
linke Gandhiji who get-outted all angrezi peoples
from India. Tilak said Swaraj is our birth-rate
and we shall halve it. Today we all halve our
birth-rate. You children are future dynamic
generators of the Nation. Look into future time
only. No backside looking, or looking at your
behind. Be like great like X' raj Ranjan of
Germany or Presidents like Loosebelt. You know
genius, no? It is one per cent perspiration
and ninety seven percent evaporation. They became
great by reading great books. After we finish
you here in the school, you can go to college
and get B.A., M.A. and other decrease. Then
you can become great liars in the supreme courts,
shattered accountants, or leacherers in college.
The school is like a garden. You are the seeds,
school is the soil. We will bury you in this
soil, pour water of knowledge on your heads
and one day will become great phools. Many vacancy
job come in newspapers. Only yesterday I saw
in paper "Wanted for refuted engineering
firm:
Generators, highpower condensors" so and
so forth, etc. These jobs may be teknickel,
but you can rise. If you have flare in English,
you can become teacher. I am now ending this
fastly. My God blast you! Thank you and thank
God I am finished.
